*Editor’s note: Apparently I already had a blog entry about four years ago, and it’s curious how similar this up-to-date entry is to the one back then. Anyway, please, read on!
I want to start this blog with a summary of my life to date so that you can get to know me
better, and I’d love for you to comment a little bit about yourself so that I can get to know
you, too. But before we get into that, I want you to double check a few things (and, well,
every time you decide to read this blog).
1. If you are on a smartphone or computer device, please put your device on airplane mode while you read.
Electromagnetic (EMF) radiation is a legitimate concern. I’ll write about this again in the future (on airplane
mode!).
better, and I’d love for you to comment a little bit about yourself so that I can get to know
you, too. But before we get into that, I want you to double check a few things (and, well,
every time you decide to read this blog).
1. If you are on a smartphone or computer device, please put your device on airplane mode while you read.
Electromagnetic (EMF) radiation is a legitimate concern. I’ll write about this again in the future (on airplane
mode!).
2. If you haven’t had your 8 glasses or ounces of fresh water yet today, or if you need an
energy boost, please drink water now. And if you have access to a snack such as nuts, washed
fruit or vegetables--- grab something for yourself and then come back.
3. If you are holding tension in your body, I want you to meditate on the areas that are affected
and try to breathe in peace, then exhale the stress. Let’s take a moment and breathe into your
forehead and eyebrows, jaw and tongue, neck and shoulders, upper and lower back, stomach,
thighs, calves, and feet. Allow your body to go limp. This is a time for you to rest and enjoy
yourself now.
4. If you haven’t set aside time for self-love today, let’s do that now. Light your favorite candle
or incense, dim the lights, and thank your body for getting you through the day today. You
are wonderful and capable of handling whatever life gives you.
Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why we call it the present.
My name is Heidi Leona Womer. I was born 23 years ago, at the end of August when school usually
starts up for the year. My brother was born two years later, and then my sister two years after that.
My parents bought their first home right after she was born, and are there to this day. It’s a quaint
house that has undergone dramatic change (most noticeable is the brightly colored walls and the
lush postage-stamp backyard), and everyone who has ever entered it hasn’t failed to mention the
charm of it. The greatest irony is looking at the neighborhood around it, but that can be a story for
another time. Growing up there, we never felt lack of anything. My parents made sure of that.
starts up for the year. My brother was born two years later, and then my sister two years after that.
My parents bought their first home right after she was born, and are there to this day. It’s a quaint
house that has undergone dramatic change (most noticeable is the brightly colored walls and the
lush postage-stamp backyard), and everyone who has ever entered it hasn’t failed to mention the
charm of it. The greatest irony is looking at the neighborhood around it, but that can be a story for
another time. Growing up there, we never felt lack of anything. My parents made sure of that.
School is an interesting topic. For me--- it started off with cyber school, all the way until the 5th grade.
Math was a difficult construct for me to grasp, and I gave my mom a lot of trouble by hiding under the
desk and crying when the time came to face the subject. History, language, and music were my
favorites. I loved learning about Ancient Egypt with their pharaohs and mummies, playing the
computer game that taught basic German, and the videos of synchronized clapping and “apple, apple,
peach, peach” to discover syncopation.
When my brother needed to start school as well, that’s when my mom decided that three children
with completely different learning styles, needs, and curriculums, was more stress than was necessary.
She sent me and my sister to a charter school about 20 minutes away and kept my brother home.
When parent-teacher day came to pass, we walked out of there never to return again. I was going to
fail 5th grade because I was grasping friendliness and socialization more than academics. I don’t
remember why I didn’t turn in my homework or try harder, but the time spent doing rounds around the
playground in lieu of detention and learning to make origami with a friend was more important somehow.
with completely different learning styles, needs, and curriculums, was more stress than was necessary.
She sent me and my sister to a charter school about 20 minutes away and kept my brother home.
When parent-teacher day came to pass, we walked out of there never to return again. I was going to
fail 5th grade because I was grasping friendliness and socialization more than academics. I don’t
remember why I didn’t turn in my homework or try harder, but the time spent doing rounds around the
playground in lieu of detention and learning to make origami with a friend was more important somehow.
With that option out of the question, the only other thing we could do was attend the school in our
district. It was the last choice because it’s among the lowest ranked schools state-wide. But, I digress.
I was welcomed with open arms my very first day by friends that stayed by my side until 11th grade.
High school drama is normal, expected even, but still--- you don’t know much until it happens to you.
Love triangles, backstabbing, hallway aversion, and more ensued. From being in all honors and
advanced placement classes, knowing everyone’s name, and self-enrolling in as many after school
activities as I could without breaking… to being balled up in the hallway at home begging my mom to
let me home-school my last year… it was dramatic, traumatic, and everything erratic.
But, what can we do when we feel like we’re swimming against the tide? Adapt. I graduated senior
year with my only credit required for graduation--- English. I spent my last summer as a young student
reading and writing essays on whatever tickled my fancy next to the pool. My plan from then on was
to sign up with WWOOF and stay at stranger’s farms in exchange for work experience. Opportunities
came and went, but eventually I landed on one. It was in Maine, close to my mother’s family. It
seemed like a dream come true. When I arrived it seemed like a dream come true. But after my family
left, and I got down to business, I fell apart.
Imagine a skinny stick of a girl plowing weeds, sleeping with snakes and hornets, and being
responsible for a whole litter of baby chicks (to which I had zero experience handling... more than half
of them died). My heart fell apart from homesickness and I was sweaty, dirty, and tired. After 2-3
weeks of it, I had to stop. But I didn’t want to give up. I came all that way and I didn’t know my
mother’s family as well as I would’ve liked, so I asked to stay with them and got several jobs over the
summer and turned into a Mainer. I got to know the area and locals and felt like I would do well living
on my own up there. Then one day I had my first full-on panic attack. It seemingly came out of the
blue, and I frantically called my mom to figure out how to get home. Since that day, I haven’t been the
same.
year with my only credit required for graduation--- English. I spent my last summer as a young student
reading and writing essays on whatever tickled my fancy next to the pool. My plan from then on was
to sign up with WWOOF and stay at stranger’s farms in exchange for work experience. Opportunities
came and went, but eventually I landed on one. It was in Maine, close to my mother’s family. It
seemed like a dream come true. When I arrived it seemed like a dream come true. But after my family
left, and I got down to business, I fell apart.
Imagine a skinny stick of a girl plowing weeds, sleeping with snakes and hornets, and being
responsible for a whole litter of baby chicks (to which I had zero experience handling... more than half
of them died). My heart fell apart from homesickness and I was sweaty, dirty, and tired. After 2-3
weeks of it, I had to stop. But I didn’t want to give up. I came all that way and I didn’t know my
mother’s family as well as I would’ve liked, so I asked to stay with them and got several jobs over the
summer and turned into a Mainer. I got to know the area and locals and felt like I would do well living
on my own up there. Then one day I had my first full-on panic attack. It seemingly came out of the
blue, and I frantically called my mom to figure out how to get home. Since that day, I haven’t been the
same.
I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder December 2017, so
a year after I came home from my excursion. I was hoping it wasn’t going to be a lasting diagnosis, but
after three years of constant high highs and low lows, I’m finally accepting it and re-wiring my mindset.
With medication and support, I’m finally at a place where I feel like a semblance of my old, adventurous
self. It was so bad at one point that I could hardly stand up out of bed, let alone leave the room or go
without texting somebody 24/7.
I live with my soon-to-be husband and our 3 cats, 2 fish, and 1 snake in our own apartment.
I’ve been rehabilitating with exposure therapy, CBT, and starting to gain back the weight that I had lost.
We are planning on buying our first home, adopting an Emotional Support Doggo, and having a baby
within a year or two. The other item on my list involves finances, and I was hoping to be able to
continue learning along the way and share my journey with you. They say that blogging can be a good
way to not only express yourself and connect with others, but it’s also a potential income stream! I
highly recommend that you give it a try at least once. Maybe come back to it a few times, even.
That’s what I did.
- H
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